Every time I travel I try to remind myself, travel light.  I just finished packing and even though I envisioned my huge suitcase to be half filled when I leave, it is now full.  Not tightly packed but full nonetheless.

How did this happen I wonder.  I've travelled farther and longer with less before.  It must be because I have to play dress up in one of the nights.  There's the green gown and with it I have to bring another pair of shoes, purse, shocks - that one night alone is already one small suitcase.  Oh and while I am writing this, I forgot to pack a pair of dress pants to go with my outfit for the reception the night before.  And yeah, that comes with a matching pair of shoes too.

And forget about lugging around Northern California one huge suitcase as I kept telling myself before - I also have a carryon bag.  Otherwise, where would I put my snacks?  Tonight when I picked up the kitties' litter, I also bought myself some fruits - apple, cherries, bananas, crackers and potato chips.  Don't worry I read the labels.  And my camera.  It is too fragile to leave in my checkin luggage.

Shoes?  I'd be so embarrassed to tell you how many pairs I am bringing.  Aside from what I will be wearing in my travel, I have a heeled slip on, a dress shoe, sneakers and my beaded slip-on from Pateros.  The sad thing is a couple of them will be worn only once in this trip.  My former hs/college sweetheart whom I was hoping I'd see finally this time is not even coming. What a chicken. Is it worth it?

Make up?  Gosh I must have 2 huge ziploc bags.  For someone who wears almost nothing when it comes to make up - I don't know why I have to carry that much.  But there's that "just in case" moment.

I've given up.  My medicines are packed and whatever else I forget - I could always use an excuse to shop.

And forget about travelling light.  It ain't happening this time!

Mom decided not to come to the West Coast.  I just called her at 3:00 and confirmed.  It was a weak negative reply.  I didn't force the issue as I could see now that it will be taxing for her.  As usual I have a hectic schedule even though I will be out in the West Coast for about 2 weeks.

Also I am concerned about the bush fires in Sacramento and the Big Sur, two places where I am going. The air will be heavily polluted for her health condition and age.

In Sacramento we'll be driving to Lake Tahoe for the day.  And then I move to a cousin for two nights in another city where my San Fran cousins will pick me up to drive to Monterey.  The next day I move to the hotel in SF and stay there until the end of the reunion.  My Aunt from NY made reservations for us to take a day trip to Yosemite National Park and the following day, walks around the city.  We also have to spend a day or lunch with an uncle and his family sometime.

From there, plans get murkier but right now, tentatively am meeting some Mindoro friends from Vallejo and from there we'll go to Napa Valley.  Or meet another cousin and they bring me to the wine country.  The flexibility of being single!

She might not stand the Sacramento and Vallejo heat.  Even if we take it leisurely, the walks in SF would still be very demanding for her.  It's not a flat city and I can't leave her in the hotel room.

I am missing her already and I haven't left yet.  Even though I know she will be in good hands with my youngest sister.

At another time I could have insisted and she would love to go.  I told her I wanted her to see beautiful places while her eyes can still enjoy them.  She's now considered legally blind in one eye and with diabetes, you can never tell.  I hope it doesn't end to blindness but it seems like am racing with time.  I want her to see beautiful things and have great memories but maybe it's not yet a good time.

She has another reason too why she would prefer to stay.  She wants me to have a great time unencumbered by her.  My sister Alita has convinced her to let me have my "vacation" and be free to enjoy my friends at the reunion.

Am so blessed to have them.

The reunion website has started its countdown.  "Eleven days more to go and the excitement is building up," it says.

My countdown is shorter - it's three more days before I fly to Sacramento where I am going to visit Manang Sally, a long time friend from my student days in Baguio.  The last time I saw her was eons ago, I couldn't even remember anymore.

This morning I took from my closet my bigger suitcase.  I will be gone for almost two weeks and I've decided to take one luggage instead of adding a garment bag to my smaller one.  It might be heavier with one but at least it is more manageable compared to two smaller ones plus my carryon bag.

It would be warm in Sacramento but I need to bring clothes to layer in San Francisco.  Mom helped me with the laundry this morning (in fact she did most of them after I left for work) and when I mentioned I needed to iron/press some of my clothes, she said she probably could do it now.  I told her she should try only two or three for a start.  She also volunteered to color my hair the day after.

She is still on Benadryl, she says she will stop when she feels she's stronger and her shoulder does not hurt anymore.  I told her it must be the beef as I remember Jaz telling us that they normally instruct their liver cancer patients to avoid red meat or in short - no meat from horned animals - cows, goat, lamb, deer.  The last two days she's been eating fish with good results - her sugar is down too.  But she and my sister suspect it's the shrimp and planned of throwing away the shrimps we have left in the freezer to which I argued it can't be.  She's never had allergy reaction to shrimps before.

It makes me feel better to see her improve each day before my trip.  I am still trying to convince her to come and see Northern California with me but she says she is still not up to it, besides she says she won't want to be stuck in the hotel room if she's not strong enough to go out with us everyday.

*****

Well I got sick last night.  So while Mom tried to get her sleep, she was also trying to comfort me while I repeatedly ask her to get her rest.  I was still dizzy and throwing up when I woke up and although my blood pressure is still in the normal range my Mom asked me to swallow two raw garlic.  She assured me they are the best medicine to lower my bp but the smell of it and the size of them made me gag and sicker.

Maybe I just need a good excuse to stay home without guilt.  But I have made an appointment to see the doctor as I don't want to leave with my three weeks old cough plus the additional symptoms of whatever it might be.  Let's just hope it has something to do with my ears as my sister suspects, although I don't hear any buzzing sound.

Here's what's going on inside our house now: my baby sister asleep in the living room after an all night duty, Mom is cooking lunch and naturally I am blogging but pretty soon I should prepare my clothes for vacation before I see the doctor.

If you have been reading my other blog, My Garden Mosaic, sometime at the end of last year I discovered the beauty of these annuals, coleus.  Last August, I got stir crazy with their colorful and showy leaves - it was like an epiphany.  I never thought something so leafy could be this pretty.

Like everybody else, I look for the stunning flowers, bright colors and fragrance of what I put in my garden.  I hardly pay attention to the leaves.  Except of course if the plants are hostas or those exotic Japanese maple trees.

Well I haven't quite forgotten them yet.  Last Fall I stocked my indoor garden with different coleuses which I bought at the local Home Depot.  They didn't have a great selection but bought them just the same but they didn't like the indoor temperature and environment.  Most of them died.  So never again.

This year I spotted a wide variety in a temporary shack of a nursery at the new mall in Willowbrook.  It was coleus heaven for me.  I couldn't pass up having them this year and the pots in front of my house is filled with them.  Some of the selections were not cheap but for $7 for the most expensive one - a pot full of them still comes out a bargain.  Under the sun, they grow so fast and lush.

I have mixed some pepper plants in a couple of pots and I inserted a basil in one of them.  That's my portable veggie garden. And they provide the green contrast.

I am already planning my garden for next year.  And coleus will have a starring role!  And maybe next year I will resurrect my garden blog.

Seems like a wonderful Saturday morning.  The sun not too bright, temperature low 70s, no wind, just the perfect day to be in the garden.

Even Mom can't resist to follow me at the garden when I suggested I do some work in the yard while she can walk around in the patio.  Rosary in hand she ventured out in the yard.  Inspecting what has been growing, new plants coming up.  Sure she noticed her now empty raised garden - empty except for the weeds which are all growing merrily.  No threat of being pulled out.  But their day will come.

I did some watering.  Last Sunday I planted some black-eyed Susan from the Aquinos garden.  Sad to say the ones I planted around the corner tree outside by the street got weed whacked by the guys who mows the lawn.  One of these days I will have to talk to them not to do it again.  Again, if they come back that is.

I have not done much gardening in the Spring.  Most of the plants I planted last Fall died for lack of management or care when Mom was sick.  So I have made up my mind that from now on I will buy sparingly.  I will mostly subdivide the plants I have or ask some extra plants from friends and relatives of what I fancy from their yards.  I don't want to invest any more than what I have.

But so far the old garden looked great even though I have not weeded.  It takes around five years to fully establish a garden and I can appreciate it now.  The garden is much fuller even with the lack of attention.

The only thing I've managed to do is plant some coleus in pots which are at the front of the house.  Otherwise, it would have been a sorry and unwelcome sight if I didn't replace the dead plants there.

I noticed too this mushroom from the pot. They are not edible but they looked very interesting with their bulbous head and bright yellow color.  They are in the planter where I have my tropical hibiscus.  I'm going to wait and see how they turn out.

I was happy that Mom and I spent a good time together this morning.  Just being outside together even with the few words we exchanged.  She noticed an empty pot where a bright pink petunia used to grow last summer and which is now empty.  She wanted to plant some pepper seeds she saved from her plants last year.  It brightens my heart that she's getting back to her old self.

But tonight her right shoulder hurt again.  She reminded me that it hurt so bad when she first had her first MRI.  I looked it up in the internet and it says it's one of the symptoms of liver cancer.  It hurt once in the hospital too after surgery and although it goes away in the morning and recurs in the late afternoon I am wondering what causes it.  It says further that it could be caused by gall bladder but they have taken that out during the surgery.

Her shortness of breath is gone and she's sleeping well now with one Benadryl.  I suspect it could be her fatty diet the last three days so tomorrow I asked her to cook fish and lessen the salt when she cooks and see if it helps.  But on Thursday she's going to see Dr. Shih again for her monthly check up.  That will be one of my notes for her attention.

Mom wants to wean herself away from Benadryl.  We've got capsules now - 25 mg.  I should get her tablets maybe tomorrow at a lower dosage - maybe children's portion, until she could sleep again naturally.

We're taking small steps . . . slowly.

Today I kept bumping into my old friend Mindy.  Like me, she also has a parent who lives with her - her dad.  Since it's not everyday that we get to chat or bump into each other even though we are on the same floor, she asked how mom is doing.

I told her Mom is having anxiety.  You see am leaving for my long scheduled two weeks' vacation on the 4th and Nestor's niece will be having her debut party at a hotel in the northern suburbs on the 5th.  It is not difficult to conclude that he and my sister would attend the occasion.  So she asked me to call Noreen to keep her company but she can't.  Her mom is also not available but Noreen said her mom will ask someone.

I laid out the whole scenario to my mom just in case there is no one available.  I told her that the options we have are: for her to go with me on vacation or accept one of my aunt's offer to stay at their house when I'm gone as somebody is always home and a nurse in the family is always available - just for that night, or she could stay at my sister's hotel room while they party.  Her corresponding responses: what would she do on vacation - laze around?  No she can't sleep in other people's home and third, there would be too many people in the hotel room - they would be too busy.

My advice to her was to be flexible as other people are trying to help her but she somehow needs to be understanding and meet us halfway.  Mom has been here in the US for 20 years, she has a college degree, you would think she's totally immersed herself with the American culture.  By now she knows the ways of living here that it is not easy to find company for companionship sake.  But there are alternatives but she needs to cooperate, sometimes you really have to bend backward, forward whatever is the flow and do whatever is necessary to fit your needs.  One cannot be rigid and unbending.

I told her relatives and friends here in the states got to help each other and that's what others are giving us.  In the same token, if others need our help in the future, we should be happy to reciprocate and extend a hand, embrace them if you can, shelter and feed them if necessary.  She says she does not have any problem with helping, she just can't sleep in other people's home.  Then she walks away and sulk and later I found out, cried.

My youngest sister has been faithfully keeping her company 6 days a week during the day since she came back from Manila.  If mom didn't have her surgery and didn't need company 24/7, my sister would be working a second job.  She gave it up for the meantime.  All I wanted my Mom to see is my youngest sister too needs time for herself and her husband.

Mom has always catered to her family's needs and it is puzzling that she can't see it this way.  She has given me her blessing to go away knowing that my vacation for our town reunion has been planned since a year ago and she knew that I've been looking forward to it.  However, I have no qualms in cancelling it if she needs me but she wants me to go anyway since she said I already sacrificed my trip to Pia's wedding for her. 

I would love for her to go with me for her recovery.  A change of scenery am sure would be good for her although I must concede the heat in Sacramento and Vallejo, my two side trips, would be too much for her.  If she's with me I can watch her health regiment closely.  But once she's made up her mind, it is very difficult to change.  My sisters know me as a nag which I would better describe as persistent, when I want her to go with me somewhere but I have since accepted that she's happier by herself.  Although this time at the back of my mind, I could hardly agree with that thought.

Mindy laughs at me.  Her dad is the same way.  He's as stubborn too and so set in his ways.  He too drives her nuts.  Many days, Mindy could just shake her head as she recounts the antics of her dad.  Hair pulling although luckily they are hardly hair raising.

Like Mindy's dad, I don't know how to crack Mom's way of thinking.  Granting they have been good parents and are entitled or expects some entitlement - like respecting or granting their wishes even though some might seem unreasonable and on a whim, for the most part, some parents just hold us hostage to what they want and has a way of making us feel guilty.

They are so smart that things just have to be done their way.  They have a way of manipulating things somehow.  It must be the many years of experience of raising us.  They nurtured and care for us, they are the persons who know us deeply well.  By hook or by crook, they won't let us win this mind game.  Don't you ever forget that.  Not without a fight.

White doves represent eternal life, love, happiness and unity. They signify the
celebration of the beginning of a new marriage together.  It is a unique way to
express that special love and joy a couple is feeling on their wedding day.

 

The last time I flew, I could not forget that I paid more than 6 times for the price of a 4 oz. can of Pringles.  That was from Dublin to Chicago.  An international flight and they can't give it to you for free.

In a little more than a week I would be on a four-hour flight to the West Coast.  I need to remind myself to bring my own snack.  Bananas, apples, Pringles, nuts, whatever - I am not going to settle with a small pack of  pretzels that tastes like they are a year old.  I wish I could bring my own brand of iced tea and since that's a no-no, I will settle with water courtesy of the airline.

And there's the matter of luggage.  I am debating whether I should bring a two-unit luggage or one big one.  Did you hear, they now charge $15 for your first luggage and I think $25 for the second.  And this reminds me again of my lost luggage on my last year's vacation to Ireland.  I bet you if they send my one and only luggage to Timbuktu, they are not going to be as generous as Aer Lingus.

The front page news this morning on our local paper warns of things getting worst as to airline services.  So my friends who used to fly free on first class may not have too many days to enjoy your once so-called privilege.  If United is cutting their fleet and laying off hundreds of pilots, all airlines overbooking each flight - how else can you find a free seat?

And who's listening that the fare is now twice as high compared to last year and to make a change would penalize you a stiff $150?

It must be a combination of things 'coz finally Mom was able to sleep last night.  On my way home I was thinking how I hated the coming of sundown.  I am running out of tricks how to get her to sleep and my appeal to the doctor yesterday to maybe let my Mom visit a psychologist was ignored.  All the nurse could relay to me was to try her on another sleeping prescription but I told them I want to quit going that route.

Maybe it is for some good reason that a psychologist is not needed.  She has recovered extremely well, her memory is as sharp as ever, she can cook, walk, except for some physical limitations - she's about normal.  She's got a good appetite.  Even her shortness of breath is almost gone and her sense of loneliness is going away.  She loves to watch the FoodChannel and TFC radio.

But she said she didn't get any sleep all day yesterday and sniffling.  After the prayers,  I prepared her warm milk and she got some cookies to go with it.  I told her she can get one Benadryl pill but she declined.  In the morning we agreed that we will try getting some sleep in the family room again like the night before, with the patio doors open so she could hear the sound of water from the fountain.  But I thought we can do that safely in my bedroom.

I gave her a massage as she tries to go to sleep.  At nine she was still moving and tossing so I suggested the Benadryl again to stop her cold.  She didn't like the lavander oil, so I rubbed her foot with plenty of Vicks vaporub as I read somewhere that that helps when one has a cold.  I applied a generous amount at her back too.  And as an extra measure, I put the stone my nieces sent her from Fr. Suarez's Montemaria under her pillows.

She must be so tired and in a few minutes she was snoring.  Never have I been happy hearing someone snore when I used to be annoyed by it although I probably could snore a storm too.  But that humming sound from her was a welcome one.

Thank God, she slept like a baby.  I had to wake her up this morning to check her glucose.  At the same time I didn't want her to oversleep and feel tired.

I hope it continues so I can comfortably think of my coming vacation.  It would be nicer if I can convince her to come with me.

 

Sometimes I wonder why a bride and groom would almost pelt each other with big chunks of their wedding cake.  Here are some lesson in history on the tradition.

Wedding Cake: 1st Century B.C. Rome
by Charles Panati

The wedding cake was not always eaten by the bride; it was originally thrown at her.  It developed as one of many fertility symbols integral to the marriage ceremony.  For until modern times, children were expected to follow the marriage as faithfully as night follows day; and almost as frequently.

Wheat, long a symbol of fertility and prosperity, was one of the earliest grains to ceremoniously shower new brides; and unmarried young women were expected to scramble for the grains to ensure their own betrothals, as they do today for the bridal bouquet.

Early Romans bakers, whose confectionery skills were held in higher regard than the talents of the city's great builders, altered the practice.  Around 100 B.C., they began baking the wedding wheat into small, sweet cakes-to be eaten, not thrown.  Wedding guests, however, loath to abandon the fun of pelting the bride
with wheat confetti, often tossed the cakes.

According to the Roman poet and philosopher Lucretius, author of De rerum natura ("On the Nature of Things"), a compromise ritual developed in which the wheat cakes were crumbled over the bride's head.  And as a further symbol of fertility, the couple was required to eat a portion of the crumbs, a custom known as confarreatio, or "eating together."  After exhausting the supply of cakes, guests were presented with handfuls of confetto-"sweet meats"- a sort of confetti-like mixture of nuts, dried fruits, and honeyed almonds, sort of an ancient trail mix.

The practice of eating crumbs of small wedding cakes spread throughout Western Europe.  In England, the crumbs were washed down with a special ale.  The brew itself was referred to as bryd ealu, or "bride's ale", which evolved into the word "bridal".

The wedding cake rite, in which tossed food symbolized an abundance of offspring, changed during lean times in the Middle Ages.  Raw wheat or rice once again showered a bride.  The once-decorative cakes became simple biscuits or scones to be eaten.  And guests were encouraged to bake their own biscuits and
bring them to the ceremony.  Leftovers were distributed among the poor.  Ironically, it was these austere practices that with time, ingenuity, and French contempt for all things British led to the most opulent of wedding adornments: the multi tiered cake.

The legend is this: Throughout the British Isles, it had become customary to pile the contributed scones, biscuits, and other baked goods atop one another into an enormous heap.  The higher the better, for the height augured prosperity for the couple, who exchanged kisses over the mound.  In the 1660's, during the reign of King Charles II, a French chef (whose name, unfortunately, is lost to history) was visiting London and observed the cake-piling ceremony.  Appalled at the haphazard manner in which the British stacked baked goods, often to have them tumble, he conceived the idea of transforming the mountain of bland biscuits into an iced, multi tiered cake sensation.  British papers of the day are supposed to have deplored the French excess, but before the close of the century, British bakers were offering the very same magnificent creations.

Yesterday afternoon, I've left a voicemail with my friend at Amex Travel.  I was thinking of making changes in my trip to San Francisco.  Now that she is firmly decided on staying behind, if her condition stayed the same, there is no way I could stay away for two weeks.  My youngest sister is an excellent caregiver but Mom would be a heavy burden for her for a long time if she didn't make any progress.

After two Benadryl, warm milk and a chocolate chip cookie, she was able to get the sleep she needed.  She woke up like a totally different person this morning.  Her voice was loud and firm, like her old self. And I was so happy.

But she does not think she can sit through the mass tomorrow.  I have arranged with Fr. Sunny to pray over her but she said she feels nauseous when she sits that long.  I have to take her word for it and I don't force the issue.  If she says she feels unwell, I let her.  Am sure when she feels ready she would let me know.

We have a company picnic tomorrow and even though I have a pass to go, I don't think I would be able to convince her.  So maybe we'll stay home and relax.  Or maybe my uncle will bring Auntie Mely to come and pick up her clothes left at home and I could visit with her one more time before she flies back to Manila on Monday.

I picked up some brown-eyed Susan from Benny & Viv's garden this morning.  And it rained hard yesterday so maybe tonight I could do some gardening.  I planted camote while Mom gave me instructions the other night.  They got a good soaking from the rain.  Slowly I could go back to getting my hands dirty.

I have been busy planning my trip also.  Back and forth with the hotel and my aunt in NY.  My cousin in San Francisco whom I have not seen since I left, many many years ago, since we were in college.

Although I made reservations directly through the hotel, I found out Hotels.com is cheaper and booked there again.  But our corporate rate was even lower, the hotel must be going nuts getting my name from so many agencies.  I immediately cancelled Hotels.com and tonight I will make sure I call the hotel and cancel it too.

It's been 20 years since my only trip to that fabled city.  I have talked my cousin (I hope) to bring me to Monterey and Carmel and am so looking forward to that.  I was looking into staying in Monterey for a couple of days but they convinced me into staying in SF instead.

Meanwhile my aunt who will be travelling from NY made reservations for us for a day trip to Yosemite National Park.  I dream of seeing all the US national parks before I leave this country for good.  If Europe is steeped in culture, the US is richly endowed in its natural beauty.  That's what Europeans and other foreigners come to see in this country.  They will be going to Alcatraz too as my godson requested it but I am skipping that part.  In 20 years, I don't think the Rock could have changed that much.  Only if they are taking a night tour could they probably convince me to see it again, otherwise once is enough. 

Maybe I could walk around Chinatown while I wait for them.  Window shop, get curious and take lots and lots of pictures and EAT! EAT! EAT!

If she continues to get her sleep well, I could dream of vacation ahead.

Mom feels like she's got a jumbo-sized jet lag.  Her mind and body wants to go to sleep but it won't come.  I suspect this is still part of the medications she had from the hospital.  While at ICU they sedated her making her sleep for 36 hours at a time.  It's like skipping a day and a-half and now her brain is all wacked.

She was given a prescription of Ambien.  She'd taken it every night for about 10 days until she complained of shortness of breath and then I was told by her doctor that she should have not taken it every night.  But the bottle said "take as needed" and she's been needing it every night.

In its place they told me to give her Benadryl, an allergy medication.  It took a long time before she was able to fall asleep the other night but last night, one cap didn't work at all.  When I woke up at three and found her in the bathroom she said she haven't had a wink.  So I gave her one more and massaged her head.  I could have stayed with her longer but I have a cold and am afraid she'll catch it too which would be disastrous for her.

She was able to sleep for about 4 hours.  The doctor today said I could give her 2 caps, tops.  And a lot of people suggested chamomille tea.  I searched the stores around the office and I couldn't find it so tonight I will get some from Whole Foods.

I hope with the tea, warm milk + cookie, 2 Benadryls and some aromatic oil rubbed on her forehead would do the trick.

Sleep is so important for our well-being and health.  She's got a headache due to loss of sleep.  Talk about a big hang-over.  If only it's not that hard for her to get, she would be well on her way to a quick recovery.

Without it tonight, I will definitely lose my own.  I would truly be at a lost what to do.  Someone suggested I psychologize her - I've tried every trick.  Prayed, rubbed her head with oils,  massaged her gently, talked softly.  I have no more tricks left.

The thing with liver surgery, you are limited as to the medication you can take.  Without the full function of your organ, you can only take so much as the liver can only process as much.

 Any ideas?

Didn't I hear that before, among my friends - someone gets married not for love but for "companionship na lang" they say.

I am a very independent person.  And so did my Mom.  Although I love to socialize, Mom is pretty much happy alone, by herself, doing household chores.  Lately though, she's longing for companionship.  Not necessarily a life partner as her only love was my Dad, but someone to talk to.

We had a heart-to-heart talk tonight.  I asked if she still have moments of depression. She says when my sister is here and they are talking - it comes fleetingly, but not for long.  It gets lesser and shorter as time pass by.  The past couple of weeks, the sight of her crying in the afternoon melted our hearts, me and Alita.  It was difficult for us to see her cry.  But she said, she does not feel lonely whenever she sees someone, if there is someone she could talk to.

My sister and her husband left her at noon for little while to go to an opthalmologist.  Mom said she felt lonely by herself in that short span of time.

Tonight, she wants me so much to sleep with her in her room as I've been doing since Noreen left.  But my cough is so bad that I am afraid she'll catch it and it would be worse for her.  I can't take the risk although my feelings waive but really, I must stay away.  I told her I will camp in the guest room as it is closer.

Inspite of her sickness, Mom still thinks of us so much.  She's been pushing me to go to bed early because of my cold and so get that necessary rest when I gave her a massage as she tries to catch her sleep.  We prayed our novena too, hoping that it will help.  She prayed online with Fr. Suarez too.

But when the lights dim and the shutters are off, or when it gets dark outside and she is still awake, she longs for that someone to talk to.  Or during the day when nobody is home and she's left with the two cats, Sissi and Pixie are no longer sufficient companions for her.

She needs that human interaction.  I told her she needs to socialize more - go make herself happy, be entertained.  She doesn't say anything.  I gave her examples of the Bagets who loves to party and get together to make themselves happy.  Fight their boredom.  And they seem and act like forever young - very bagets.  Am sure she's giving it some thought.

I think one reaches a certain age when being alone is no longer a viable option.

Today was Mom's first appointment with her oncologist - Dr. Louie.  We were almost late but thank goodness, she was called immediately.  Mom has gotten restless, impatient and antsy since this operation.  I don't know if it's part of her recovery period.  I've been trying to explain to her that good doctors make you wait, not intentionally, but the mere fact that they are so good and are so in demand that there is always a case that someone is in more dire need than the next person waiting.

Mom's pathology report is in and good news!  Her liver tumor was caught in time and early.  It was staged one and as they've always said before - they have taken out all the tumors.  She confirmed that she does not need any follow up treatment - nothing, no chemo, no radiation, no pills.  But one thing she will have to do, she will have a blood test and CT scan every three months to check on her liver.

These are all answers to our prayers - yours especially.  This miracle could not have happened without all your help - the prayers, the encouragement, petitions, masses offered, the company, the daily calls, house visits, etc.  Not only those who responded to my blogs, I love you all, but I must acknowledge also the people who sent me messages behind multiply.  Cynthia S., people I've known only because of my cry for help and prayers, everyone who've known me beyond my blog and sent me email messages.  I don't know how I could thank you all enough!

After our doctor's visit, I brought my Mom to Olive Garden.  She is still grappling with ocassional depression and sleeplessness, but Dr. Louie said undestandably so for her body went through a lot of trauma from the surgery but the good news should lighten her mind and spirits.  And the reason I brought her out to lunch was to slowly introduce her back to normal life.  I wanted her to get physically and mentally exhausted a little bit with the hope that the fresh air and warm sun can enduce her to sleep and not rely as much on sleeping pills.

We sat outdoors and she had shrimp pasta.  We dropped by the house to pick up her insulin pen, but I forgot the disposable needles.  Nevertheless, she enjoyed her soup and pasta.  Maybe her BG will go up for the missed insulin but what the heck, it happens.  I still need to find out how she can go to a place without carrying that insulin pen around.  Do I need to bring a cooler for that?  (It is refrigerated.)

Her wound is drying up wonderfully she said.  On Wednesday, my sister Alita will bring her to the surgeon to remove the remaining stitches.

Prayers do work!  Don't ever doubt it.  All you need is ask.

A long time friend, Mila, called me last night from NY.  She's fresh from a trip from Manila and Vigan - her hometown, where she attended the city fiesta - May 3rd.

As usual, she had fun except for the fact that her wallet got picked inside the Vigan Cathedral.  When they went to the police to report the incident, they were told that these are  women and their MO is to work as a group.  Reminds me of the gypsies in the big cities of Europe - and now our kababayans have learned to operate like them.  Then she recalled that three women blocked their path at one point and won't let them pass.  Definitely a delay tactic while one of them picked her purse.  Good thing it was in Vigan and I presume they are not as savvy as the pickpockets of Manila in which case I would assume would not only steal your money but also your identity.  She immediately cancelled all her credit cards so didn't suffer any financial damage from that.

Another story from her was one of her nephews applied for a visa to go to Dubai.  She said, "talampak na ang graft and corruption sa atin."  Which of course is no big suprise.  The whole world knows it.  Pero, if a government office is asking for an applicant to pay a fee to enter a building - 20 pesos daw per applicant to pay for the air conditioning - and charge for staples, aba, sobra na talaga!

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Mom and I just watched Leah Salonga's concert (replay on TFC).  She makes me proud as a Filipino.  Mom even sat through the whole thing.

Meet Kasiani.  She was married to my friend Costas on August 20, 2002.  This was the first Greek wedding I attended and it was special as I was able to witness it in Athens.

I missed the wedding of Pia where I was to be one of the principal sponsors.  Imagine I got invited to two weddings at the same date - May 24th?  The other was my Chinese friend - Henry, in Hong Kong.  And I missed them both.  At least Henry will renew his vows here in Chicago in September and that will be the next one I will attend but I truly missed Pia's but it was understandable why I couldn't make it.  In short, what I am saying is, I am on the same boat as the rest of my photography classmates - no wedding invitations for this month ergo no bride.

I took this picture after the wedding.  The wedding was at 7 pm and the dinner didn't start until 10:00.  That's the way wedding receptions go in Greece.  Yes, I was starved by then but we dined, wined and danced until four in the morning.  It was an experience and so much fun!

Kasiani and Costas are now enjoying parenthood to their two children.

 

So okay, I have the highest respect for the hopiang baboy.  I know many will say it is not really all "baboy" but rather just a mix of sweetened wintermelon with a bit of pork fat but aside from the name, it is my favorite hopia filling.

My nieces sent me Holland hopiang baboy thru Alita.  To my dismay my sister and my brother-in-law helped themselves to most of it, leaving me three packages, or to be exact - 2 plus one piece.  Since my other sister stayed behind in Manila, my nieces said they will send me Polland hopia after I mentioned that the packaging was not the same as I remember.  I wanted the one with glossy packaging.

Noreen said she will ask her husband Tito, to send some real good hopias from Palawan.  She said that's the best she's had.  And so yesterday, I got the package.  (Thanks Noreen and Tito.) I don't know where they put it though because I can't find it.  I know Noreen mentioned something about it being wrapped in foil to hide the "baboy" mark.  I will ask my sister when I get home before she thinks I've forgotten about it.

I did try however the munggo and ube this morning from Noreen.  The sugar is just right which is very important for someone who's diabetec like me.  It's not as moist and soft as Eng Bee Tin but I think Eng anyway is too mushy for my taste.  The one in Palawan has the right thickness and it doesn't have that messy flakes of a covering.  It is almost like a solid munggo and ube but not heavy.  It passes my taste test for what is an excellent hopia.  Am sure the baboy one will be as good.  And I can't wait to get my hands on it.

The Holland was a tad dry and I could hardly taste the wintermelon.  It was almost eating cardboard.  Maybe I should have warmed it a bit in the microwave.

I haven't tried the Polland one.  As a diabetic I can only eat a few at a time.  Besides I have to preserve my reserves of Philippine goodies.  And am not sharing it.  It's in the freezer.

Now only if Noreen can tell me where they put my hopiang baboy I would be porcinely in bliss heaven!

Auntie Melly and I were just cleaning up in the kitchen when her brother and his wife rang the door bell.  They were checking on her as they are worried about her health.

When the Igamas were here, Jaz checked her bp and it was dangerously high so we persuaded my uncle, her brother, to let her stay at Auntie Fe's for the night.  Auntie Melly couldn't believe that when she arrived here in the US, her blood pressure and sugar that were perfectly normal before she left Manila suddenly went haywire.  She now has to take 4 prescriptions to correct them.  She's now officially a diabetic and tonight her bp was 200+/100.

Auntie Sally worried that she might have a heart attack under my care, especially that she's just visiting.  Unfortunately our digital bp kit ran out of battery and was showing signs of failure but even with the manual, it was still high.  They let her take more bp medicines and when they thought it came down, they left.  They could see how much Mom needed her company.

However, they didn't go very far and came back.  Someone told them to bring Auntie Melly to the emergency.  I had no choice but let her go although she seemed to be very happy here and didn't feel any signs of high blood pressure.  I wanted her to stay too but I have to agree with my aunt and uncle, it is better to be on the safe side than realize our error when it's too late.

They let her take only her purse as they promised to bring her back as soon as her bp is stabilized.  I cannot fault them in their decision.  We were saying our rosary when they came, so I told her to just calm down so her bp won't go up again.  She wouldn't want to get sick here either, can you imagine being hospitalized away from your family?

I hope and pray she will be okay and I hope she will come back with us very soon.

All those talks of blood pressure I think elevated my own.  I got a slight headache after they left.  Although when we checked mine it was 133/78.

Auntie Melly thinks we are over medicated or truly, over reacting here in the US and just a bunch of worry-warts or hypochondriacs.  Maybe we do.  But for now, I hope she will be well.

Life without Noreen.  We miss her but we need to learn to deal with Mom's recovery by ourselves.  My sister Alita took care of Mom all day yesterday and Auntie Mely, thank heavens!, was there to keep her company alone for about three hours as I was asked to stay a bit in the office.

In the past, working late didn't bother me.  But yesterday, I couldn't wait to rush home and be with her.  My heart ached knowing that I couldn't be with her when Alita left.  Auntie Mely and Mom were chatting when I got home - like girls on the same bed.  They both have clear memories of the past although I think this is the first time that they've met.  My mom lived all over the place as Dad was a drug salesman and when we were in Ilocos, Auntie Mely has already moved to Manila.  Auntie Mely proved to be good company for her, giving her a massage when she needs one and before she goes to sleep.

She asked for a sleeping pill after Auntie Mely and I finished dinner and a massage.  I did her scalp while Auntie Mely her arms.  It must have soothed her and it didn't take long before she fell asleep.  Unlike the night before, this time she slept through till early morning when she asked for an early morning snack.  I massaged some lavender oil on her forehead and she went back to sleep.

Around 6:30, she came down for a light breakfast of oatmeal and one tiny Vigan sausage.  She said her body hurts but its bearable.  She is really trying her best to get better.  She walked in the hallway as I prepared her breakfast.  I told her she needs to start slowly getting back to her routine to fight depression and suggested that I put two chairs at the side porch for her and Auntie Melly when I get home.  I read from the internet that getting them stimulated more in the afternoon before they go to sleep is one way to fight sundown syndrome.  She said I need not do the work, they will just sit in the patio. 

It looks promising that today will be a better day.  Maybe the arrival of my other sister who vacationed in Manila will uplift her spirits.

I have bought Mom a ticket to go with me to the West Coast in three weeks.  However, my former boss who was going to do a pilgrimage to San Juan de Compostela this time cancelled his trip after his wife went through surgery of the ovary.  It took her 2 months to get clearance from her doctor so he thinks Mom might not be able to travel that far even though Mom's primary told me she could if she's up to it.

I am hoping Mom will be better in three weeks and could travel with me.  I think a change of environment and meeting several people she's familiar with could do her some good.  But knowing Mom, she might not want to go especially when she is still not 100% well.  If she insists on staying, she's very stubborn though  in not wanting to stay in other people's home, even with my siblings.  And I would only feel comfortable if she can stay with Alita.  She's very patient with her and her husband is also insulin-dependent and very familiar with how it works.  Otherwise, I am not sure if I would enjoy being away for 13 days without her by my side.

I will keep praying on it.

Now that Mom is on insulin, I got to cram learning about living with a diabetic.  When I was first diagnosed with the disease, I went to a nutrition class to learn my exchanges.  Thankfully, I have delayed the full onset of the disease by going on diet.  So far, I'm winning the battle and so I don't have to worry too much about it, I've learned to live with less so I can avoid the pill or medication.

Eating less of what I love like bread and rice was difficult at first.  But the one thing I can't help is the sight of pansit.  Especially if Mom makes it.  That is like going on suicide.  It is my weakness.

I should go to class again but this time I am asking my youngest sister to go instead.  She's on diabetes medication and does not really watch her health.  Mom's doctor gave me the name of the nutritionist to teach her how to do her food exchanges.  Now that she's going to watch Mom during the day and has to cook her meals while she recuperates, she's starting to learn and at the same time losing some of her misconception about diabetes.  Education is the best weapon and very important to better manage any disease, especially diabetes.

The last two days we saw Mom's sugar fluctuates to the extreme.  Yesterday her fasting sugar was 69 and this morning, it was 67.  Alarmed as this was the first time her sugar went that low, to raise her sugar yesterday, Noreen and I gave her sweets - like half a hopia, a slice of toast with Nutella and then my niece said to give her orange juice because I mistakenly told her Mom's sugar was 57, which was off 10.  Today at one point her sugar went up to 400. When I talked to her doctor and told her, she said she never advise her patients to take orange juice because of the high sugar content.  She advised half a cup of apple juice instead. She said if we fed her regular food her sugar would have just turned normal.  She said fluctuations like that can give her a stroke.  Good thing Noreen gave her insulin.  That was really scary.

And then I saw the notes that Noreen and my sister worked on as Noreen was supposed to leave us today but felt sorry for Mom and decided to stay one more night.  I don't know when the instructions got muddled but I clarified with Mom's doctor how the relation of the blood glucose-insulin-food works.  She said if the glucose is high, then we have to raise the insulin, not the other way around.  Although we did right when we held her insulin in the morning when it was low, somehow I don't know how we all got confused.  Sometimes, it just takes one person to say one thing and then we all follow, which when you don't analyze and think farther, could be wrong and fatal.

I believe we have a better grasp of the combination of the glucose-insulin-food + exercise now.  I will continue to give her her long working insulin and start from 5 units again on the fast acting one and raise the increments by one unit until we get the desired sugar level.  This insulin thing is a little difficult but eventually we'll be able to get it right.